40 Life Lessons at 40
The day has dawned and I am now officially entering into a new decade in my life.YES I have now turned 40 and no I don’t look my age which is a good thing and neither do I feel 40.
Growing up as a kid when someone turned 40 it was a huge thing it meant they were old.I recall going to parties with my parents where people where turning 40.At no point did I ever think that I too would get here myself.
What does it feel like to be 40 ?
Hmm well the same as yesterday I guess.Nothing has really changed and no I did not wake up a new person.Though I was told by a colleague that when you turn 40 everything in your life changes from life to your health.I looked into the mirror this morning besides looking tired , a few grey hairs intertwined with my dark hair and a few stubborn chin hairs that I have had forever I am still Verushka the person I was yesterday and all my life.
My expectations of 40 :
I had different dreams or ideas of what my life would be like when I turned 40.But life has other plans for me while I was dreaming.In my head I was happily married ,owning my own business or partnership with hubby ,kids ,dogs and travelling the world.Obviously my views of life have been slightly jaded by the community I come from where it is expected that by 40 I would have ticked all these boxes. Life happened , the universe changed my direction several times and I am here now living each day as it comes.However I have ticked some boxes :
1. I have 2 dogs.
2.I travel locally and internationally
3.I own my blog which is a business of sorts.
4.I own my car which I have paid for myself.
So basically I don’t think I have done too bad minus a few things in my life.
What am I grateful for at 40?
Loads actually that as I reflect on my life I think damn you have achieved and experienced may wonderful things in your life.Some of things I am grateful for are :
1.A supportive family who have always supported my dreams and never stopped me from going for them.Not forgetting the fact they were not your typical Indian family pressurizing you to get married instead, I am used as a role model to my younger cousins which is pretty cool.
2.My blog which started out a Dear Diary kind of blog has evolved over time and become a well established blog in South Africa which I am still working on growing daily.Spicegoddess Blog has given me numerous experiences over the years especially the opportunity to travel locally and internationally while attending some pretty amazing events. Not forgetting about all the brand collaborations over the years.
3.I am grateful that I had the opportunity to live and work in London for several years.This allowed me to travel and gain a qualification while I was there.I am still mildly obsessed with London.
4.Learning about cooking and religion from my Gran.Most of my fondest memories have been spent in a kitchen watching,learning and eating.In my culture food plays an integral part of every day life.
5.My tribe who never laugh at my crazy ideas and encourage me to dream bigger.
6.My culture and religion which both have kept me grounded in life.
7.Grateful for all those who have walked this journey of life with me and thought me lessons along the way.Some are still here others are no longer here but still I thank them for walking part of my journey with me.
8.I am grateful that I have the joy of parenting two furkids Chai and Zara.These two bring so much love and joy into my world everyday.
Life lessons at 40
1.It is ok not be to perfect.- you will do what you can when you can and at your own pace.Stop comparing yourself to others.
2.Sometimes life happens when we are busy making other plans.
3.Silence is golden.- Time has taught me to stop talking as most people are not listening to you and do not want to listen to you and what you have to say.So instead I keep silent and focus on other things like tweeting a link of a blog post.
4.Happiness is a choice.Everyday we are given the choice to be happy or not.I have learnt not to depend on others to make me happy as my happiness lies within me and the choices I make.
5.Take chances – often these can be scary but I would rather take these than always wondering “What if” Every chance taken is an opportunity to grow, be better
6.Say YES ! – often we are too afraid to put ourselves out or give ourselves credit for what we can do.So now more than ever I am saying yes to most things and actually enjoying the YES moments.
7. Follow your gut instinct.-95% of the time it is the right choice.My rule of thumb is if I have to question it or ask someone for their opinion then that is not for me.
8.Stand tall and up for what you believe in.- Do not be a push over and let others try to change what you believe in.Sometimes standing up means standing alone but that is OK.Never compromise on your beliefs.
9.It is OK to cry.- Yes it is ok to cry and sometimes after a good cry one feels so much better.I often end up doing my crying in the shower so no one sees me.Dealing with your emotions is important for your self-care.
10. Self Care – Taking care of your body ,mind and soul is so vital.And we often forget that we have needs and we matter.So bottom line be kind to yourself.
11.Let Go– a vital element of healing and moving on.A decision that is difficult but we learn the importance of self-care as we grow older and why letting go is better for body,mind and soul.
12.Gratitude.- Every day find something to be grateful for.Keep saying Thank You and you will be amazed at the doors and miracles that will manifest in front of you.
13.It is ok to say NO.- Ok so I know I said say YES more often but it is ok to also say to things you do not feel comfortable with.It is ok to say NO to people who constantly expect you to do things for them.
14.Make memories with loved ones.- Having lost loved ones I know understand this more than ever.I am spending more time with those who matter creating memories to last a lifetime.Make the time you are never too busy to pick up the phone ,send a message or go visit.
15.Take lots of pictures.- Losing loved ones has made realise the importance of capturing memories for the generations to come.
16.Be a kind human.the world needs more people who are kind and caring.But kindness starts with yourself for you.Never forget that you matter and you too need to take time for you.
17.Collect memories not things
18.Travel- keep discovering the world you live in.Once a year travel somewhere you have never been.Discover new places ,eat new food and find out how others live.Never forget to explore locally and see your hometown through new eyes.
19.Be the change you wish to see in the world.- Stop talking and wishing and start doing.Lead by example and others will follow and that is good leadership and how the cycle of change starts.
20.Saving for a rainy day- it is never too late to start saving.I wish I had started earlier and stopped wasting money on things I no longer use or fit me.
21.Accept your flaws ,bumps and curves.With age I have started to learn to love myself and ignore the ugly words of society.Now more than ever I am comfortable in my own skin.And yes beauty is the whole package.
22.Learn the art of dettachment.- The older I get the more I realise how much I am not attached to things in this material world.I have started with decluttering my life of clothing,books,shoes and literally everything else.All my things have been given to Hospice and to family.I feel so good and light.
23.Count your lessons and blessings – every life lesson can be put into two boxes and often the lesson only become clearer later on when you are ready to accept the blessing or lesson.
24 Read- the more you read the more yo
u learn.I read everything and have a huge love of books.My to read pile is getting bigger due to time constraints but I will still try to read.
25.Surround yourself with a tribe that supports your dreams and hope.Distance yourself from those who feed off your energy and your success.
26.Circle gets smaller as you get older.I never believed this until now.Not everyone is your friend always remember that and not everyone has your best interest at heart.
27.use your time wisely.-No need to waste your time on people and things that bring no joy to your life.We can never get back time that is lost so choose wisely how you spend your time.
28.Learn to be comfortable in your own company.After living alone in London for several years I had to learn to be comfortable on my own.I know love my own company and love going to watch a movie on my own as well as shopping.
29.Things will happen in God’s timing and not yours so be patient.- Good things come to those who are patient and it does leave it up to God ,carry on living and let the doors open when it is time.
30.Be Humble- there is no need to brag about how much money ,designer clothing or fancy places you eat at.As for your work no need to tell people how well you are doing but rather let your success speak for itself.
31.Learn to cook – you can not eat out for the rest of your life and think of all the money you can save if you learn to cook.There is nothing more relaxing than cooking a meal for your loved ones.
32.A cup of tea makes life better.- A firm believer in tea is like a hug in a mug.When sipping a cup of tea I feel the dark clouds and storms start to lift.Simple things have the greatest impact on our lives.
33.Use sunscreen and drink more water.- Your skin will thank you for both.Never underestimate the winter sun it is very harsh for your skin so yes use sunscreen in winter too.Water is needed for skin care and is vital in ensuring
34.Never underestimate the value of a good night’s sleep.-Sleep is good for the body ,mind and soul.For weeks I have been struggling to sleep through the night and it has left constantly tired and drained.Afternoon siestas are great take more.
35.Everything in moderation.- And I mean everything including chocolate,cocktails and shopping.Be kind to your body and wallet and they will thank you.
36.Stop talking and start listening.- most of the time we are too busy talking and we do not end up listening to the other person and end up missing some important information.
37.Life has no rewind button.- we get once chance in life so take it and have no regrets.
38.Smile and laugh more.- life is way too short to be grumpy and sad !
39.Eat the damn slice of chocolate cake.- no point in denying yourself some cake and later on gorging yourself on the entire cake when you could have just had one slice.
40.Do the things that set your soul on fire.- Find your passion and do that ! Strike a balance in your life and never forget that you are the master of your own destiny.
Welcome to my life ….I am still getting used to you even though it is a week later.Somethings feel different but also somethings feel the same.I look forward to all the new adventures ,love,happiness and deliciousness you bring with you.They say Life begins at 40 so bring it on I am ready 🙂
Be Inspired !