This blog post was inspired by several things BUT a blog post by a blogging buddy and the fact that I need to start living and breathing my truth even if it hurts.We live in a world where society has the mindset that people need to fit into a box or category and if they do not then they are abnormal,weird or a misfit.As a plus size woman I do not fit into any boxe or categories and this has come with it’s own fair share of trials ,tribulations and tears.So this is my story ….
I was a chubby baby , who became a chubby child and now I am a plus size lady.Growing up was not easy as in them old days there was not much available for children like me.So mum was forced to look for dressmakers to make me clothing.This was rather expensive and I didnt wear very fashionable clothing as the dressmakers were not so clued up as they are now and with budget constraints I had what one would call a capsule wardrobe now.
I recall one family member commenting when I was 5 saying “why does this child always wear the same clothes?” This question has stayed with me all these years like a scar and haunted me even now as an aduly.BUT now everytime I go to family function or out I am dolled up to the 9’s often I get asked why and my reply is “WHY NOT?My mother’s mantra about dressing up has always been “better to be over dressed than under dressed” has become my mantra for whenever I am attending functions and events.
As a teenager things didnt get much easier as I was still the fat girl the girl that was no threat to any other girl.I was the girl guys would chat to so that they could get closer to my friends.I changed high schools as my parents wanted my brother and I to have a better education.It was here at Kingsway High School, I found the real me.I became confident took part in several school activities and even became the first Indian prefect in the school.This experience changed me and made me see myself in a different light .It is amazing what a change of scenery does for the soul.
Then came University and all the same teenage dramas surfaced.On finishing my degree I left to live and work in London.It was here my growth as an adult really began.I found clothing stores for the plus size me and the clothes were modern and not granny type.I felt alive and like any other 20 something living in a fantastic city.And the guys saw more than just a “fat girl”.I had met some amazing and gorgeous looking guys.
And then I returned home after a decade and found that I was still considered the “fat girl”.My confidence took a knock, I was depressed and not in a very good space in my life.It was amazing to think how some people or should I say most people could not see beyond my plus size and my weight instantly became a problem for them.It did not matter that I have lived abroad,travelled extensively and gotten a British Teachers Qualification because all it came down to was that I was a fat girl that no one wanted to date or marry.And yes relationships were a plenty but with conditions attached to them.It felt like I was stuck in time here in South Africa like a vaccum.
Then I entered the work force and came across work place bullying but not in the obvious way but all the snide comments been passed around about me.And the worst thing was this was coming from another woman.So much about sisterhood and sticking up for each other.I would not be human if I said all these things did not affect me as they did and it made me go into my shell.
I woke up one day and decided I needed to pull myself together and show others the real me .WHO is the real me?
I am am amazing young lady with a heart of gold.I love to inspire others.I love meeting new people and can hold a conversation with anyone.And there is still so much more to me …..And yes I am Plus Size but my clothing label does not define me and who I am.I also realised that I am not everyone’s cup of tea but it’s ok because sometimes I prefer coffee.
Two years ago I decided to change my life in terms of my health and took note of what I was putting into my body.I decided that self care was important and I needed to become a priority in my life.I deleted the word diet from my dictionary and added words like healthy ,nutritious ,good for you and nurients.I became more concious of my food choices and what I was putting into my body.Becoming mindful of my surroundings ,my “friends” and my relationship with food has changed me for the better.
On returning from my fab holiday in Mauritius in 2015, several people commented on how good I looked.I was very chuffed that people noticed there was a difference to me no it wasnt because I lost 20kgs or I had a holiday romance BUT simply the fact that I had made peace and accepted who I was.And yes I had fallen in LOVE with myself.Falling in love with yourself and acceptance is such a vital part of your self care.
As a plus size adult who is learning daily to love herself and cope with the world ,there are days when I do feel down and days when my insecurities start to creep in like on my Hot Air Balloon trip but
…. it is ok as I am only human and moments of meltdowns are allowed.
So when I came across the Dove campaign #ChooseBeautiful everything kinda fitted into place so I am embracing the beautiful person I am.And I am choosing beautiful cause thats exactly who I am.I was not a fan of taking pictures of myselfbut now I am and those who follow my Twitter account @verushka143 and my IG verushka143 will know how much I do love myself.I am now a lover of the much loved/hated hashtag #selfie.In this post I have included some of my favourite pics of me from the last few weeks.
I hope I have inspired you to embrace yourself and #ChooseBeautiful.
Have an amazing week ahead.
Be Inspired !